Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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