Sorry, I don't speak sober.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
