there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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