Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
