I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
