Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Randomize