HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
