My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
