She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
