Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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