I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I look better un-naked...
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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