u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
jump out the window naked night went bad
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