I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
