whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
