he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
This toilet bowl is my home.
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