and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
