I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
pray to the hookup gods
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
