Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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