whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
