Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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