Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
