Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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