The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize
