Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I intend to get homeless drunk
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
