WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
