This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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