so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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