it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
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