I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Randomize
