The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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