it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
