so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
