I wish life had little blips of pornography
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
And then my night got REAL pukey
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
