before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
