i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
