I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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