I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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