Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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