I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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