You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
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