I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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