Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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