i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
