You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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