New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
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