How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
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Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Vodka?
Forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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