Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
it was like eating out sand paper
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I came so hard my ears popped.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
