Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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