I bet he comes in French.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
