wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize