there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
