Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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