just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
