I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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