he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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