Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
do nipples grow back?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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