I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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