The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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