He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
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