ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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