i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
