your room smells of hookers.
And success
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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