Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
